Let’s be honest. Sometimes your own head is bloody exhausting. You wake up and before you’ve even got out of bed, your brain is already off. Am I doing enough? Why does everyone else seem to have their shit together? What if I mess this up? Why am I not further ahead? Why don’t I look like her? Why doesn’t my life look like theirs? And before you’ve even had your first brew, you’ve already convinced yourself you’re failing at life. Sound familiar?
I work with women who are incredibly capable, successful, caring and bloody brilliant, yet underneath all of that, they’re riddled with self-doubt. They’re overthinking. They’re comparing. They’re second-guessing themselves. They’re worrying about what everyone else thinks .And they’re absolutely knackered from trying to keep everything together .The thing is, you don’t need to have a perfect life to feel grounded. You need to learn how to come back to yourself when your mind starts running away with you.
So here are six things you can start doing when anxiety, comparison, and that horrible feeling of “I’m not enough” start taking over.
Step 1: Get out of your head and back into your body
Anxiety loves your head. It loves a what if. What if this happens? What if they don’t like me? What if I’ve made the wrong decision? What if I fail? And before you know it, you’re living in a future that hasn’t even happened. So come back. Feet on the floor. Take a breath. Drop your shoulders. Feel the chair underneath you. Look around the room. Notice five things you can see. Listen to what’s happening around you. Have a bloody good brew and actually taste it instead of necking it while scrolling through Instagram. You don’t have to fix your entire life in that moment. You just need to remind your nervous system: “I’m here. I’m okay. I’m in this moment.”
Step 2: Stop comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel
This one is massive. Because social media can have you believing everyone else is smashing life while you’re sat there wondering where the hell you’re going wrong. You see her amazing holiday. Her new house. Her relationship. Her body. Her business. Her seemingly perfect children. And suddenly your perfectly decent Tuesday feels like a complete failure. But you’re comparing your reality to a snapshot of theirs. You don’t know what’s happening behind the photograph. And here’s something I want you to remember: Someone else’s success isn’t evidence of your failure. Their life isn’t your measuring stick. So when you catch yourself spiralling into comparison, ask: “What would I be focusing on right now if I wasn’t looking at everyone else?” Then bring your attention back to you. Your life. Your goals. Your bloody brilliant progress.
Step 3: Give your brain something else to do
Sometimes you don’t need another hour analysing your feelings. You need to get up. Move. Walk. Put the washing on. Go outside. Have a shower. Stick some music on. Take the dog out. Go for a wander around the block. Do something with your hands. An anxious brain can become completely consumed by thinking. And sometimes the quickest way to interrupt that cycle is to bring yourself back into the real world. Not everything needs analysing. Not every thought needs answering. Not every feeling needs solving. Sometimes you just need to change what you’re doing.
Step 4: Stop talking to yourself like an absolute arsehole
Sorry, but it’s true. Would you speak to your best mate the way you speak to yourself? Would you tell her: “You’re useless.” “You’re behind.” “You’re not good enough.” “Everyone else is doing better than you.” Of course you wouldn’t. So why do you think you’re allowed to speak to yourself like that? You don’t need to stand in front of the mirror shouting affirmations if that feels completely ridiculous to you. Start smaller. Instead of: “I’m failing.” Try: “I’m having a difficult day.” Instead of: “I’m not good enough.” Try: “I’m struggling with my confidence right now.” Instead of: “I should have this all figured out.” Try: “I’m allowed to be figuring things out.” It’s not about lying to yourself. It’s about stopping yourself from making a difficult moment ten times bloody harder.
Step 5: Ask yourself what YOU actually need
This is one I want you to sit with. When you’re anxious, overwhelmed, and desperately trying to keep everyone happy, ask: “What do I need right now?” Not what does your partner need. Not what do the kids need. Not what does work need. Not what will keep everyone else happy. What do YOU need? Maybe it’s a night in. Maybe it’s saying no. Maybe it’s going for a walk. Maybe it’s a cuddle. Maybe it’s five minutes of peace and quiet where nobody asks you for bloody anything. Maybe it’s admitting you’re struggling. Maybe it’s simply going to bed early. You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to justify your needs. And you don’t have to wait until you’re completely burnt out before you start listening to yourself.
Step 6: Have something you can come back to
When life feels chaotic, have your own little anchor. Mine might be a walk, getting outside, moving my body, taking a few minutes to breathe or simply reminding myself: “One thing at a time.” You could have a phrase on your phone. A song. A morning ritual. A walk. Journalling. Five minutes sitting quietly with your coffee. Whatever works for you. The important thing is that you’re creating something that says: “This is my space. This is where I come back to myself.” Because being grounded doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes calm. It means you become better at finding your calm amongst the chaos. You aren’t failing. You’re overwhelmed. And there is a bloody big difference. You can be successful and still struggle with confidence. You can be strong and still feel anxious. You can love your life and still have days where you wonder what the hell you’re doing. You can be confident in one area of your life and riddled with self-doubt in another. You’re human. You don’t need to have it all figured out. And you definitely don’t need to become some completely different version of yourself to finally feel worthy. The work isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming more YOU. More connected to yourself. More trusting of yourself. More able to recognise when your thoughts are taking you down a rabbit hole. More able to pause. Breathe. Ground yourself. And choose what happens next. Because the aim isn’t to stop the storms. It’s to learn how to stand steady when they come. And if you’re reading this thinking, “Right, but I actually don’t know how to do that on my own…” That’s exactly where coaching can help.
Through Be YOU Be Free, I work with women who are tired of overthinking, people-pleasing, comparing themselves to everyone else and feeling like they’re never quite enough. We work on your mindset, your confidence, your boundaries and most importantly your relationship with yourself. Because you don’t need another person telling you how to live your life. You need the space to work out what YOU actually want, who YOU actually are and what has been holding you back.
If you’re ready to feel calmer, more confident and more grounded in yourself, have a look at my Life coaching and Mindset coaching packages. And if you want to explore more about confidence, authenticity and becoming the version of you that feels genuinely free:👉 be YOU be Free. You don’t need to have your whole life sorted. You don’t need to stop feeling anxious. You don’t need to stop having wobbles. You just need to stop abandoning yourself every time life gets difficult. Come back to you. That’s where the good stuff starts. ~ Nat x
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