Let’s get real here – we’ve all experienced that annoying voice in our head that pipes up right at the worst possible time. You plucked up the courage to try something new and bosh, here it comes:
“You will NEVER manage that. You’ll make a complete fool of yourself. You’ll look ridiculous. Everyone will laugh at you.”
Yup, there it is, your lovely inner critic coming to ruin the moment … again ! Suppose that voice was a human, you’d probably avoid, block and delete them out of your life pronto ! But it squats in your brain rent free and we have to find a different way to deal with its presence.
Fortunately, you can overcome the inner critic and all the negative chatter that comes with it. In this blog, I will show you how…
Your inner critic doesn’t get to run the show. You’ve come too far to be talked down by a voice that’s never taken a single step.
ANON
1. Call BS
When the inner critic starts mouthing off, you’ve gotta call it out there and then!
“You can’t do that!”
“Other people don’t need help like me”
“Don’t bother, you’ll never achieve it”
The voice will creep into your thoughts like a sneaky kid gets into your bed at night (if you’re a parent, that is! If not, that would just be weird!!). Once you notice the bedroom door has opened and the kid is peeping at the door, you can take action. Your power lies in seeing it and calling it out for what it is. A sneaky voice with no right to impact your thoughts negatively! The beauty of this is, once you you spot it, you can call BS!
2. Answer it back (Yep full on “Not today Karen”)!
Your inner critic will try and take control and hold you back. If you can use humour to disarm it, you might find that shame and guilt diminishes. For example, “Cheers for your idea, but not today, Karen,” and “I hear what you are saying, but I am in charge love”. And “Do one, I am going with my idea today”.
3. Reframe
I use NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) to reframe thoughts a lot with my clients. Not only will getting a fresh perspective give you new ideas, but you can also use them to empower and inspire your thoughts. So next time the voice of doom crops up with its “You can’t do that, everyone will laugh at you” reframe it to, “I can do this and I can deal with whatever the outcome might be”. Here are a few handy reframes for the inner critic:
I’m such a failure, I mess everything up – It’s okay to make mistakes, I will learn from them.
I’m not good enough – I am a work in progress, and that is ok.
People might think I’m stupid if I say that – I have a right to be heard.
I’m lazy, I should be doing more – I am allowed to take time out and rest.
I’ll never be as good as them – I compete with no one, I am on my own unique journey
I don’t deserve to feel happy – I have a right to feel at peace with myself.
I screw up all my relationships – I am learning new ways of connecting and loving
No one will want me – I am lovable just as I am
I don’t have what it takes – I have overcome many challenges and will figure out what I need to do to get there.
4. Catch it out!
Part of the process when dealing with your inner critic is becoming aware of when it’s doing its thing and piping up with unhelpful comments. Catching it in the act and calling it out enables us to take back control of our thoughts.
Next time you catch your inner critic launch into full-on criticize mode, try this:
Notice it, say to yourself “Ah, you again”, then attach a character to it like Bart Simpson or Mickey Mouse, then imagine you can shrink it down, and you can turn down the volume of the voice. Next up, take the colour of it and make it dull and fuzzy. Add some ridiculous music to it, such as circus music or Benny Hill. And lastly, take that little dull character and throw it far away so you can barely see it in the distance, like a little fleck far, far away. This will separate your real voice from the inner critic and allow you to get back to your true self.
5. Evidential back chat
Give that voice some back chat with all your experiences that disprove it. Keep a tally of all the things you HAVE achieved, the things you feel proud of, and maybe a compliment someone gave you. You have the chance to use all this evidence as ammunition at the ready to back chat the next “You’re not good enough” quip from Karen.
6. Its on you !
In my opinion, the way I see it is this. You can either live your life being held hostage by your inner critic, held back, dreams and desires suppressed, only to reach the end of your life feeling disappointed, filled with regret, and feeling like a failure. OR you can decide to take back your power over your thoughts and learn compassionately how to love, approve, and accept yourself, and embark on a brave journey of facing your inner critic and saying, “No more! My life, my way!”.
As a Life Coach, I thrive off building self-belief and confidence within my clients to put their inner critic to bed and LIVE their lives and find freedom in becoming their authentic selves! After all, what other real way is there to be?
To see how Life coaching will change your life today, book a free taster session, let’s chat, and learn what the possibilities could be for you.
Learn more about life coaching, mindset coaching and coaching for young peopleor take my FREE Life Satisfaction Quiz.
