Let’s be honest, hanging out with a narcissist “feels like slowly turning down the volume on your own voice so theirs can fill the room. You keep hoping that if you listen hard enough, they’ll finally hear you, but they never do.” It’s like starring in the movie you never signed up for, the beam in the constant spotlight, rewriting the script whenever it suits them, and you are the one always cleaning up the emotional shiz show.
But you can stay calm and in control. Here are my 7 life coach approved tips to keep you calm, in control and in YOUR power (not theirs).
Red Flag Alert
The narc loves attention and adoration on any level. They thrive off control. Get clued up on gaslighting behaviours and shifting of responsibility coupled with endless talk of themselves, without little acknowledgment for your feelings. Part of the whole process when dealing with the narc is getting wise to their subtle manipulations. Once you learn them you cannot unsee them. Read, “how to spot a narcissist” and get clued up now.
You Can’t and Won’t Ever Fix Them
Theres no healing, fixing or coaching taht can be done with a narcissist unless they decide they are going to get help to change their toxic ways. Unfortunately most narcs dont even recognize that they are a narc and so continue into old age contimuing with their unhealthy behaviours. Instead, focus inwards, get a life coach to gain clarity, build your self esteem and professional guidance.
Use The “Grey Rock” Method
Literally react without emotion. This method encourages you to remain calm and neutral. Presenting with an extremely emotionless exterior. Sounds a bit gamey, but if it creates less conflict and more peace, hey, who’s winning here?! You want to reclaim your power back dont you?!
Boundaries are Your Saviour
Boundaries are acts of self love and self respect. Using simple phrases to communicate such as,
“I’m not going to discuss this further if you keep raising your voice.”
“I won’t let you speak to me that way, if it continues, I’ll end the conversation.”
“My time is important too, so I need to leave when I said I would.”
“You can have your opinion, but I’m not changing mine.”
“I’m not responsible for your emotions or reactions.”
“I’m not comfortable sharing that, so I’ll keep it private.”
“If you start criticizing me, I’ll walk away until you’re calm.”
“I need space right now, and I’ll reach out when I’m ready to talk.”
“I don’t accept guilt trips, please stop.”
“I’m happy to listen, but not if you’re going to insult me.”
If you struggle keeping boundaries, an online life coach or certified life coach can help you strengthen them.
Reconnect with YOU
The narc is excellent at making you question not only your external world but also your decisions, your actions, and, quite frankly, who the hell you actually are in the end! Get connected back to yourself by journaling, spending time in nature, reconnecting with people whom you trust and who you can be your true self around. Take up a hobby and spend time doing what brings you joy. Their opinions were never final. You decide who you are! Searching “find a life coach near me” will help you find the right life coach to navigate your way through the train wreckage, beyond their opinions, and back to self-belief.
Any Reaction is a Reaction
Give them nothing. All the narc needs is any tiny crumb or snippet of a reaction to feed their need. Your peace is paramount here. By choosing to stay silent or walk away, you get to keep your dignity, and your own peace prevails over any argument.
Get Help ~ You are Worthy of It
Dealing with a narcissist is exhausting and emotionally crippling. A good life coach will help you recognize patterns, help you build boundaries, find emotional balance, and strengthen you.
The Take Away…
You will never control the narcissist; you will only learn to control your reaction to them.
Get back to YOU by honouring your boundaries, protecting your peace, and remembering who the hell you are! You are your own master!
Ready to unlearn their rules? Rewrite your own? Find a life coach near you who has lived it to know it. One that understands the complicated toxicity of narcissistic encounters and is on the other side of their games, ready to hand you the match so you can burn the narrative they wrote for you. Book a free taster session, let’s talk, and get YOU back in charge.
